The Craziest Paragraph You Will EVER Read… and It’s Written By a Professor

Have you ever read something strange on the internet? Chances are, probably yes. So let’s rephrase this: Have you ever read anything strange on an online article written by a professor? And I don’t mean too complicated (although who doesn’t know that feeling?!), or expressing views that are contrary to your own, etc.

What I mean is something downright strange.

Life was pretty much normal until I’d read this piece. I never believed before that I could ever read something in literature that could really shock or surprise me, and I certainly never would have thought that a quarter through writing an important essay assignment I would be down on my knees laughing because of one of the articles I had to use for research.

Turns out I was wrong! While scouring for books and resources for an essay, I came across a ‘letter from the director’ in an article from the University of California written by one of its professors that is the best I have ever read. This professor made my day, honestly. I could never have imagined being surprised with something so creative.

Here’s the transcript:

Spring 2011 Volume 28, Number 1; Notes from the Director; University of California, Berkeley; ISSN 1536-4003; Newsletter of the Institute of Slavic, East European, and Eurasian Studies

“The Times of Trouble are over! ‘Interim Director’ John Connelly has been forced to retreat, and legitimate power has been restored. I am grateful to General Jeff Pennington and Admiral Ned Walker for their steadfast loyalty during the difficult times of foreign occupation and for their brilliant leadership of the resistance movement. Andrei Dubinsky continued to produce the ISEEES newsletter from his temporary Taiwan headquarters; Libby Coyne coordinated the acts of sabotage in and around Stephens Hall. My hosts at the Hoover Institution at Stanford did everything in their power to make my time in exile less painful. Their failure is due to the inherent limitations of the no-fly-zone policy, not their lack of compassion. I vowed I would be back. The day has come. Let us rebuild together!”

What do you think of the letter? Do you have any surprising paragraphs or words of your own while searching online? Let me hear your stories below!

Check out the full letter at:


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